wow, i havent blogged in almost a month. My blog was exposed to mY parents and so I got like no freedom after that. (dont send me messages because I wont reply, sorry) SO yea um schools going good right now i guess. Um I had my first cross country meet :) I came in 113 out of 300 so that was a pretty good accomplishment. I've already had drama with my "best frend" but she apologized but i don't give in that easy so if she still wants to be friends imma make her wait a while because there was always these news flashes about her being pregnant and stuff so yea.

Girls, um theres alot of good looking girls there that I'm indirectly attracted but I have my eye on my ex. She's the one I really want though.

 Guys um I see alot of them, they're nice guys and I kinda like this one guy but i have no clue how he feels about me because I haven't asked but it's like when he comes around I start smiling alot and i get tongue tied and its stupid. Like this morning I couldn't stop smiling when I had to wake up at freakin five o clock to leave my house at 6 30 and i was walking and he lives like 3 houses down from me and i saw him walking but i didnt want to look dorky and stop so I kept walking and he eventually caught up to me. AND WE TALKED! I was smiling so big ugh i felt kinda stupid but yea theres my guy update :) 

School ugh I'm already failing 2 classes dude! I wonder why i havent got banned from going to cross country meets yet. It's only a matter of time but I'm trying to get my grades up before grades come out. I've always been horrible at science so I'm not going to worry about science. But I've always been good at language arts. I've'nt  the slitest idea why Im failing that class. I joined the school choir, its a class so thats like 2 A's already (p.e) so yea. I'm rehearsing for the talent with this my friend ******. She's a junior and she's been in choir for a while so she's experienced. Thats good I guess. We're going to sing either Superhuman by chris brown and keri hilson or no air wiwth him and jordan sparks. Im really looking forward to it. We had our first rehearsal today and I think it went pretty well. I like dancing as you know and so I'm still doing that. I'm gradually falljing in love with leona lewis. I love her voice.

Family. Family is, okay. Could be better. what whose family couldnt use a little improvement. I can't wait until i start driving because i hate walking to school when its cold unless i have a good reason but i live down the street from the school so it isnt that bad. Um. My lil brother is badder than ever while he's just starting preschool at a church he bitin' kids and stuff. He told me last night that the kids at school hit him and so I sat him down and looked him dead in the eye and told him that if the kids at that school are hitting he needs to sock them write in there eye. And i told him to pick up a chair or sumthing and throw it at them. well I wnt ice cream so I'm going to go.

Bye <3

I never thought I'd say this to someone as special as you,

But I'm putting away thw felings of passion I actually thought were true.

Maybe it's my problem ,

I opened my  heart to quick.

As soon as you came in,

you immediatley began to stick.

I felt you cling to my heart like blood to my veins.

But slowly with the help of your lies you became apart of me without anyshame.

I thought about you all the time and cherished what I thought we had.

You told me you loved me and i believed it was true,

So like a fool I said it back "I Love You Too".

You told me you'd love me forever and that you'd never go away.

You told me our relationship was everlasting and that our love was her to say.

I guess forever isn't as long as it used to be because you don't love me anymore.

You  chewed me up and spit me out now all that's left is the core.

I asked myself over and over is this really love?

But then the love you had for me flew away like a dove.

You gave me short hand answers like "Babe i luv u 2"

But after awhile i sensed what you were telling me was nowhere near the truth.

I told myself it'll get better and that i just had to be patient.

But the same lies soon began to get ancient.

I found myself getting over you quickly but I just couldn't let you go.

But since our love has faded I guess we may never know.

I guess our first kiss is never going to be.

I cam to you with trust, confidence and pride but like everyone else you were just laughing inside.

You put a smile on my face even when I knew you had lied.

Like you, our love has lost it's lust. My heart my soul and mind are getting ready to bust.

What did I do to want to make you talk to me that way?

I was always nice to you and I always stayed true but I guess that's all I had to say.

Your words hit me like bullets, I felt weak and empty inside.

Your words hurt me everywhere but especially my pride.

You treat me like dirt and that's what really hurt.

You took your anger and frustration out on me like I'm the one to blame

I'm hurting so much I can't even say your name.

I stayed true through and through,

This pain came from nobody but you.

Thanks for reading xangans, Comment the poem and tell me what you think.

Is There Anyoby That Cares?
Dear, Anyone that cares
I need to get away,
Far away from here.
I need room ughh,
I need space.
I need to be somewhere else,
I just wanna disappear.
Isn't there any place on earth,
where I can go from this all?
Away from screaming,
away from tears, away from everything,
that I deeply fear.
Away from family,
and my so called friends.
Trust the people close to you and they hurt you in the end.
A puddle of shattered dreams is all I have left.
Even though i  have it all,
I feel empty quiet as it's kept.
I can't really talk to anyone,
they don't know the pain I feel.
The wounds of lies tears and agony that've been open,
never seemed to completely heal.
I have no one,
do I have you?
Could these lies you're telling me actually be the truth?
No, they never were and they never will be,
take the lies you told, I just wanted you to hear me.
Go away and don't look back at this person you hurt deeply,
you never've loved and you never will and this new wound is open completely.
I've been hiding behind this smile as if it was a sheild.
Just like you, it stabbed me in the back and I may never be healed.
Are you happy now?
Look at what you've caused,
I finally get to say what I feel and now the moment has paused.
As you walk away from me, I feel tears beginning to fall,
I didn't want this to be this way now I want to end it all.
I wipe my eyes quickly and I try to break a smile,
but by then the moments' passed and you've already gone a mile.
I tell myself to be strong, I tell myself to move on but the thought of you and I together,
may never be gone.
I asked myself why it had to end this way,
and to just forget it all.
I feel more tears beginning to rush down my face.
I let them fall I let them race.
As the sun begins to fade,
And the moon begins to glow,
These feelings I had for you,
I guess you may never know.
Is there anyone with time to listen?
Anyone with time to spare?
And so I ask the question again.
IS THERE ANYONE THAT CARES?